What Repentance Looks Like

My name is Todd Price, I am a member of this fellowship and am a retired FBI Special Agent. For a significant part of my career, I investigated crimes against children, human trafficking, kidnapping, and other violent crimes. I am haunted to this day by memories and images of numerous terrible crime scenes, which are etched into my mind. It is my deepest hope that all victims would be believed and that some child sex offenders could truly find repentance. I write this, not because I think I have all the answers and I understand that there is more that can be added to the picture, but hope my experience and perspective will be helpful to the conversation about healing some horrible harm done to so many.

What does repentance look like in the life of a sexual offender? In the Gospel of Matthew, John the Baptist admonished the multitude, “Bring forth, therefore, fruits meet for repentance”(Mt 3:8) or in another translation, “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance”. Repentance is an inward act with clear outward signals. If an offender has truly repented inwardly, then they have felt the depth and severity of the wounds they have inflicted, which produces the following outward actions:

•       Offenders would realize that they must not be in any gathering with children, instead, the Offender would completely remove themself from meetings and would avoid, to the utmost degree, environments where children are present, even if encouraged or invited to return to meetings, the Offender would insist that they must not be present with children.

•       Offenders would understand the great harm they have done, and would, fully acknowledge the harm, both to the primary victim(as appropriate with assistance from a therapist or victim advocate, NOT reaching out to victims on their own), and to all others they have groomed, and/or those to whom they have lied to conceal the abuse.

•       Offenders would fully understand, and acknowledge the divisive effect of their presence in meetings, and would never seek to cause division in the fellowship.

•       Offenders would confess and present themselves to law enforcement officials for any, and all punishment that would be required under state and federal law.

•       Offenders would cooperate fully with all investigations and would fully disclose all victims to appropriate, responsible individuals trained to safeguard such sensitive information.

•       Offenders would completely understand that pedophilia is not curable and their condition will require them to seek lifelong therapy.

•       Offender will invite accountability regarding their criminal actions and sexual desires for the rest of their life.

I have never heard of any offender from within this fellowship community or outside, that has shown these qualities of complete repentance. I believe it could only be possible with God’s help, and would truly be a miracle.

Please understand also that tears and words do not, by themselves, show repentance. In Hebrews, Paul mentioned Esau, who was "rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears”. It is also important to understand a few things that do not constitute repentance and some that would clearly show that the place of repentance has not yet been found :

•       Tears
•       "I’m sorry"
•       "I’ll change" or "I’ll never do it again”
•       Any sort of minimization, deflection, or absolutely ANY type of victim blaming.
•       Attempting to maintain place or position as worker, elder, etc., with promises of changes to behavior or actions.
•       Pressuring the Ministry or friends to be allowed back in meetings.